Posted by: funkydeez | February 3, 2009; 5:47 am

A Return…

During a conversation with my daughter, she said, “Does that mean you’ll go back to doing meditation?”

It stopped me in my tracks and I realised it had been so long, so long.

I told her how for many years I’d kept the TV on at night and indeed all time I am in the house, “It sort of shuts off the racket in my head,” I said. “I suppose I stopped meditating and started telly replacing because wasn’t willing to cope with what was coming up for me.”

____________________

I had started writing this evening after three hours sleep. I had slipped into unconsciousness in the computer chair doing a bit of surfing for a graphic with the points starting from the top: GENEROUS – CALM – SELFISH – ANGER, ‘Busy, Happy & Prosperous’ are top right between Generous and Calm. Lonely, Scared & Bitter are bottom left between Angry and Selfish.

I was looking to see if I had the rights to use it in this blog but it appeared I had to link back to the site it came from. I didn’t want to do that because it may expose me and this blog too much.

I fell asleep / unconscious

____________________

When I woke up I was annoyed with myself and realised that I’d forgotten to turn the telly off and I had had the intention to sit quietly, in peace, indeed ‘meditate’ for wont of another word for a while before I started to write my log.

I hadn’t actually seen the TV but it was obvious that it was on because I could hear it’s high pitched sound.

I dragged myself up from the precarious balancing position I had fallen asleep in and went turned it off … the high pitched sound remained.

Peace? What peace?

I started to write. Meditation took second place again. Again I abandoned my inner spirit. Is there any hope?

ENOUGH!

I have resolved to finish this NOW, sit and do it anyway! I owe it to myself and my spirit to take charge.

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