… also the day after my Greek grandmother’s birthday.
Significant for both of us in many ways. A time with both of us getting in touch with the past, long distant, archaic and magical.
Just after my English grandmother died, we went to a local stone circle on the moor top at Beltane Eve (April 30/May 1). She was pregnant with our eldest. A small group of us all took wood to burn, quite a long walk, uphill. We lit the fire in the circle and played music chatted and did what we did in those days. I burned the flowers from the vase I took from my recently departed grandmother and felt her presence and comfort.
We walked back in the dark, sensing lay lines, we were spooked by a group of galloping horses randomly roaming the moor in the peace we had disturbed which sparked of the greatest song the current band had. ‘This Revelation – happens to be true’.
It was a truly magical time: we were in love.
5 years or so later, we married on May 2, the closest we could get to that day which coincidentally was close to my other grandmother’s birthday, whose ring she wears. A truly magical time, and we were in love.
17 years after that, it is still a truly magical time though I can no longer celebrate the day to commemorate our marriage, but neither can I mourn it though that love for each other died. As in all death it has just reverted to a different energy and light.
Beltane announces the start of the Summer, it is a deeply sexual and fertility driven time and is fitting for our relationship for the wealth of life and energy we created together, not least in our four children.
Life and times which have brought the most profound physical and emotional joys and times, like recently for me and possibly for a long time for her, times which have brought intense emotional pain and physical discomfort.
I have no regrets at our marriage decisions. They were decisions made for love and truth and honesty for the purposes of joy, not necessity or duty.
It drizzled as she got out of the car – it turned into a beautiful sunny day later; she looked stunning; we vowed; we spent time with our friends and relatives; we danced and danced some more; we made love and made love some more.
Beltane is still of course a time of sexuality and fertility, regardless of our current situation with each other.
It is truly a magical time. A cusp has been reached in my whole framework of thinking. A love for my ‘self’ is growing and now, though I don’t really ask myself, if I did, I would even believe that love is genuine.
Fertility lies in the vibrant nature of my realisations and growth towards a move away from analysis to understanding and just ‘being’ with myself and the world around me, as it is; and loving it, as it is; and discovering joy in it, as it is.
Passion lies in starting to rediscover my sexuality and I am slowly beginning to allow my self to be open, trusting, loving and playful again. Daring and dangerous whilst allowing myself the glory of blundering.
I trust similar things are happening for her and I am truly, truly joyful in that knowledge.
Our relationship started in Autumn and we kept ourselves well warm then and through the winter.
We bonded again in Spring time and re-bonded again in Spring years again later.
We had a good Summer.
The Autumn went by unnoticed by me as all the leaves slowly fell off and it didn’t really perceive the beauty associated with most Autumns.
The Winter was long and hard and came at the end with a painful, hard and destroying deep, deep frost which killed everything, including a ‘me’ which neither of us could live with.
Now as individuals, Spring has, magically returned. Things are all renewed, look clean, joyful and the Summer is a-coming in!